John over at SF Signal, who I think is drinking way too much espresso, has put together a very funny impression of the upcoming science fiction and fantasy films. Here is a sample:
Aliens vs. Predator - A sequel to the singular Alien vs. Predator.
PROS: Aliens was good. Predator was good.
CONS: The original Alien vs. Predator...not so much.
BOTTOM LINE: I'll pass.
Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She Vampires - Bruce Campbell reprises his role as an elderly Elvis Presley in this sequel to Bubba Ho-Tep.
PROS: I liked Bubba Ho-Tep.
CONS: Nothing as far as I can tell.
BOTTOM LINE: They had me at "Bruce Campbell". At "She Vampires" I was already packing a suitcase and moving into the multiplex.
The Dark Knight - The sequel to Batman Begins.
PROS: It's Batman!
CONS: I really, really must see the first film.
BOTTOM LINE: Sure to be a huge hit. Everyone will rave about it and then I'll wanna go see it. Damn you, fanboys!
Jurassic Park IV - The script is still being written, but you can be sure dinosaurs are involved.
PROS: The return of the CGI dinosaur!
CONS: The return of the CGI dinosaur.
BOTTOM LINE: Meh. Been there, done that.
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